Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize