Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
