And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
