I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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