Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize