My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
