We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize