My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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