I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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