North Korea, Best Korea!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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