The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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