This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
