It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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