We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I supernannyed him into submission
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Couch. On fire.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
