Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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