Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
