even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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