some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
