i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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