We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
