census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize