If i come over, it means nothing
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
