Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
