ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
