i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
