And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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