Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I need moral support for this bender
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
