I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
