I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Randomize
