i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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