You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
