love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
