Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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