Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
