yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
