I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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