One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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