i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
