Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
