Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
