who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
