You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He shit in the fireplace
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
