Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i out mim tonsoeep
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