fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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