found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
