Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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