I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
