low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Boobs are out for the taking
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
