she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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