Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
