I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
