where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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