I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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