Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
