I love black thongs
i was born a porn star she said
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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