i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
