somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
