Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
