The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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