Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
