Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
