Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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